these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
