um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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