whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to make a zoo with you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
