i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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