It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
