I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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