You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
