Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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