Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
