btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My vagina is very pro this idea
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