so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
