Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
