I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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