Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
