Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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