Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
