2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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