Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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