On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I said "one day" and that day is not today
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
