You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
