yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
