That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Even my vagina gasped.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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