I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
