does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize