Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
