brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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