Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nelsmattson hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

Fav 1 1920 936
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

Fav 218 5741 25280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

Fav 24 3274 748
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

Fav 44 8983 1374
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?

(708): View more from Illinois

We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

Fav 47 14631 1492
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories

Fav 7 3209 2092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

(1-916): View more from California

Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

Fav 11 5394 1181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"

Fav 0 1133 518
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.

Fav 0 51 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT