im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize