i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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