go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
