I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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