i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
