um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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