That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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