Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
