New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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