she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
