have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
