remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize