I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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