Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I look better un-naked...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
