the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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