my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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