If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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