I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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