Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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