Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
