We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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