The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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