She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The uberlube is also flammable
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
