I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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