why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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