He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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