I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
