I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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