walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
