So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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