whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
