Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
