Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
