WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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